Oceanic Escapades
by Reiven
Summary: Gen-fic. A day at the beach and Tamaki gets stung by a jellyfish. We all know what the old folks say about jellyfish stings…pee on it. Good thing he has both Hikaru and Haruhi there to help him out.


**Authoress**: Reiven.  
**Rating**: G  
**Genre**: Humour.  
**Character(s)**: Tamaki, Hikaru and Haruhi.  
**Classification**: Gen.  
**Summary**: A day at the beach and Tamaki gets stung by a jellyfish. We all know what the old folks say about jellyfish stings…pee on it. Good thing he has both Hikaru and Haruhi there to help him out.

**Note**: Insert the ever clichéd 'my very first Ouran story' so be nice. I also prefer to use the Japanese honorifics and such as opposed to the manga's translated ones (i.e.: practically dub version).

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Oceanic Escapades  
_-- By Reiven

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"--Ow, ow, ow…it hurts, Haruhi."

"You need to try and manage it, Tamaki-sempai."

"Yeah, take it like a man, Tono," Hikaru surveyed his blonde haired senior from a crouched position beside him.

"Are you insulting your father, insolent brat? Mother, Hikaru's entering his rebellious sta--"

"Kyoya-sempai isn't here…Tamaki-sempai…" Haruhi let out a long, ever suffering sigh and resisted the familiar urge that arose a few times a day to smack him upside the head. He was her senior and superior at the Host Club and such action wouldn't seem proper.

"B-But, Haruhi…" blubbering out her name and pouting was somewhat a specialty of Tamaki's; not that he did not bask in the fact that he was currently trapped in one of the deserted cave on the shoreline of the beach they were at with Haruhi. It was like something straight out of one of the twenty or so fantasies he had every day that involved Haruhi. Unfortunately for him, one of the doppelgangers was here as well.

Their situation was actually caused by the dingy they were on capsizing (as a result of Tamaki bouncing up and down in it, overwhelmed with excitement as it was the first time he'd ever been on a commoner vehicle--in a way) right in the middle of the ocean. Kaoru had managed to grab hold of the upside down float and could only watch on helplessly as his friends and brother were washed away into the ominous black caves. His tearful cry of 'Hikaru' at the very last moment had invited a wave of applauds and heartfelt, longing looks from the crowd that had gathered at the beach.

"It might be a while for the others to find us here; what do you suggest we do in the meantime? What about food? I'm getting pretty hungry…Haruhi, you're a commoner, you must know what to do in this kind of situation, like catching fish or finding one of the few edible clams that get washed up. You would probably be able to tell the difference."

Feeling the ever present tick in her temple, Haruhi glared at the older of the twins. "I'm not a fisherman."

"Hikaru!" Tamaki appeared suddenly at Hikaru's side, pointing an accusing finger at his unperturbed kouhai. "How could you insult your sister like that, especially in front of your own father? Haruhi is no common fisher person--"

"Fisherman…"

"And even if she were to cook food for us using the plants that grow on the walls of the caves, I'm sure that it's going to be delicious and you're just going to have to eat it whether you like it or not!"

"That's fungus, and I have no intention of cooking anything for either of you--err…Tamaki-sempai?" sweat-dropping, Haruhi cast a half-moon eyed glare over to the far corner of the cave where Tamaki was currently facing, slumped over and a big black cloud hovering over his head, "…I guess if the situation calls for it…I could."

"Oh, Haruhi," doing a complete three-sixty, Tamaki pounced on Haruhi, grabbing her in a bear hug, "Father is touched by your kindness--oww," letting go of Haruhi, Tamaki dropped to the ground, placing a hand over the angry looking welt marks on his calf and his expression set to grimace of pain.

"Tamaki-sempai," the brunette muttered in concern, dropping to her knees beside her sempai.

"Are you all right, Tono," Hikaru too wore an unnatural expression of concern on his face kneeled down to be eye level with his two companions.

"Are you sure you're not allergic to jellyfish stings, Tamaki-sempai?"

"I don't know…I've never actually been stung by a jellyfish before. The sea I own only has specifically chosen sea creatures living in it."

"So does ours," Hikaru nodded, "Could you imagine just what kind of epidemic it would cause if we actually allowed any type of fish to swim free, and sea urchins or sting rays," his body gave an involuntary shudder, "Just look at what happened to you," he motioned to Tamaki's wound.

"Isn't it against nature to mess with an animal's natural habitat?" Haruhi suddenly wondered how she's managed to survive for this long with these rich people.

Hikaru glanced at Haruhi with a look that spelled everything that was on his mind: weirdo, while Tamaki had a glowing look of admiration shining in his eyes.

"An odd thing isn't it, this commoner beach?"

"How dare you insult Haruhi and her commoner beliefs!"

"Would you knock it off with the commoner reference already!"

"H-Haruhi," at the blonde's whimper, Haruhi twirled around and locked a glare on him, but she immediately softened up when getting sight of the pained expression he had on his face, "It is supposed to burn?" he gasped out, clutching his leg.

"Eventually it'll sting a little and become a little itchy," he kneeled closer to him, placing a cooling hand over his half, making a blush creep onto his cheeks.

"Is there something we could put on it? Like an old commoner remedy?"

Too preoccupied with Tamaki's condition, Haruhi allowed the comment to slide, but it did get her thinking. "Normally, people put vinegar on a jellyfish sting. It smells bad, but does work. But I don't think we'll find any vinegar in here. However…"

Leaving the sentence trailing, she cupped her chin with her fingers and seemed to be pondering something.

"However…?" Hikaru, never one to be patient about anything, urged her to continue.

"There is something I heard about jellyfish cures…I've never tried it though, which is a good thing and I hope I never have to," she muttered the rest under her breath.

"What is it?"

"On second though, I'm not sure you want to know…"

"If it's some commoner cure, Haruhi, I am willing to try it," Tamaki spoke with confidence through his haze of pain.

"I doubt that, sempai…really."

"Get one with it, Ha-ru-hi," Hikaru almost whined, "Can't you see that Tono is in pain?"

"Will a daughter leave her father agonizing like this, Haruhi?" opting for his specialty, Tamaki-crocodile-tears, he turned it full blast on the exasperated Haruhi.

"Okay…but don't say I didn't try to warn you," all three of them leaned closer to each other as Haruhi cupped her lips in both hands, whispering secretively as if not wanting the walls to overhear her.

"…"

Neither of the two boys moved a muscle, eyes trained on the exact spot they were last looking at; face set to a blank expression even as Haruhi inched back, leaving the two in the exact same spot.

After a full minute finally did they show some movement.

"I think I might have gotten some seawater in my ear when we capsized," Tamaki tilted his head to the side as if attempting to get the excess water out of his ear.

"You're right, Tono, I think I may have gotten some too," sharing a nervous look with his blonde king, both looked hopefully over to Haruhi, who had an indifferent expression on her face.

"I'm not kidding," she dead-panned, looking them straight in the eye, "I told you that you wouldn't dare."

"But it's--are you insinuating that we're afraid?" Hikaru's expression snapped to one of incredulous within a nano-second and he scoffed.

"I am the king of Ouran's Host Club," Tamaki flipped his blonde hair back, "And the king fears nothing."

"Oh, really…" Haruhi had push back the smirk that threatened to surface, "You wouldn't dare."

"What are you saying?" Hikaru jumped to his feet and pointed a finger towards Tamaki, "I would gladly pee on Tono's leg!"

"And I would gladly allow him to pee on my leg!"

"…"

Theoretical crickets chirped before Haruhi dropped to the ground in guffaws of laughter.

"H-Haruhi…is she laughing at us?" Tamaki turned a tearful look at the older twin, motioning back to the heaving Haruhi who was now thumping her chest with a fist, choking on her laugh.

"Seems that way…" Hikaru muttered, looking over to Tamaki. Both locked gazes on each other for a long moment and quickly snapped their attentions away, blushing. "Tono…you…are we really…err?"

"I don't know…seems like a vile action, doesn't it--" whatever he had intended to add after was quickly forgotten when the movement sent a wave of overwhelming pain up his leg. The agony was mind numbing and for a second it seemed like his entire leg was being chewed off by some unknown, feral beast.

"Uh…crab," Haruhi bent down and picked up the crustacean that had clamped its claw down on Tamaki's big toe. Clapping the sand from her hands, Haruhi turned around to examine the extent of damage the crab had inflicted on Tamaki's fragile toe.

"H-H-Haruhi-hi-hi…" the dejected, most heartbroken and desolated expression on Tamaki's face got even Haruhi pitying him. She got onto her knees, hesitatingly placing a palm on Tamaki's bare back, as if to sooth him, all while eyes trained on the bleeding wound on his foot.

"Two injuries in one day? That must be a record for you, Tono. I don't think the sea life like you very much."

"Sempai?" Haruhi bent down, hair falling over her eyes as he looked at Tamaki's down trodden expression. His face seemed a little greenish as his eyes continued to lock onto his bleeding toe. Suddenly, without warning he tilted sideways right onto the unsuspecting Haruhi.

Haruhi went down with a yelp, eyes wide and arms trying (but failing) to keep the taller boy steady. They both landed in a heap on the ground, the unconscious Tamaki draped over Haruhi's smaller body. "Hikaru, help."

Running over, Hikaru quickly circled his arms around Tamaki's shoulders pulling him off of Haruhi. "Tono!" he called out, allowing the blonde teen to lean against his chest, head lolling slightly before coming to rest on his left shoulder. "What's wrong with him?" his voice held a tinge of worry.

"I don't know," Haruhi scurried over, hand brushing Tamaki's blonde bangs away from his eyes and palm resting on his forehead. "It could be from the shock or the pain, or both," looked down the length of his body, her eyes fell on the blood flowing down his entire foot, leaving splatters on the ground. "Or it could be the sight of blood making him queasy. He doesn't seem to be developing a fever."

Both breathed a sigh of relief when the teen in question groaned uncomfortably.

"What do we do now?"

"I can bandage his toe to stop the bleeding, but for the jellyfish sting…" Haruhi's second trail off for the day made Hikaru's eyebrow twitch.

"You do that first then. I'll do…the other one," coughing, Hikaru abruptly turned away, as to not allow Haruhi to see the blush on his face.

Allowing a small smile to surface at Hikaru's obvious concern for Tamaki, Haruhi nodded. Her hands expertly pulling and tugging at her shirt until a small tear appeared at the unraveled hem.

"Commoner sewn clothes…" Hikaru scoffed beside himself, it didn't seem like he even noticed that he'd said anything.

Haruhi ignored his words, pulling the end of the torn strip out of her shirt and moving to Tamaki's bloody foot. Studying the appendage first, she leaned slightly over the edge and cupped a hand full of sea water and poured it over Tamaki's wound, washing away the red liquid so that she could study the wound better.

"It's just a small cut, no doubt it just barely pierced the skin. Those kinds of cuts bleed a whole lot," she spoke absentmindedly, wrapping the makeshift bandage expertly around her sempai's toe. "Done," she exclaimed finally, surveying the result of her handy work. "And for the sting..." she muttered, looking away, "It's better when no one's present, you know. I won't look."

If possible, the blush of Hikaru's face grew even more and he coughed, "Err...you hold him then," but then the prospect of imagining Haruhi holding Tamaki's half naked body against her chest made him stop dead, pulling Tamaki even closer to him, "On second though, you go stand over there...far over there."

Sparring him one last bemused look, Haruhi shrugged and went over to her designated spot at the far end of the cave's wall.

Hikaru looked at Haruhi's back, at the unconscious blonde in his arms and sighed, before placing said teen as gently as he could onto the ground. He cleared his throat once, pulled the string that kept up his swimming shorts and with one final look at Haruhi (to make sure she was not peeping), he dropped trousers.

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"It must have been terrifying!" Hunny whimpered, snuggling closer to Haruhi and looking at her with wide, tear filled eyes. "The dark, closed space..." the trail off allowed Hunny time to let go of Haruhi and leap into Mori's awaiting arms. "Takashi! That's so scary!"

The tall, brooding teen, in between soothing Hunny by his self-induced fear, managed to spare Haruhi a comforting smile.

"Oh, Hikaru, I was so afraid!" Kaoru whimpered, snuggling closer to his older brother in an action that would have sent an array of fangirls into hysterics. "What if something happened to you? I don't know what I'd do!" tears streamed down his face as he clutched onto Hikaru's neck in a would-be chokehold.

"Kaoru, all that time in the dark, I could only think about you," Hikaru whispered huskily into his ear, running a hand through the brown locks so similar to his own, "I only thought to go on because of you. You're the one who kept be strong, Kaoru. You, and you alone."

"Save the dramatic incest love for the fangirls, why don't you?" Haruhi sweat-dropped, glancing at the lovey-dovey twins.

"But it's a good thing you three survived," Kyoya uttered after a while from his seat in the lower level of state of the art speed boat they were currently occupying, "It would have left a gaping hole in the Club activities, not to mention the profit books otherwise."

"Good to know that you were beside your self with worry, Kyoya-sempai..." Haruhi dead-panned, but when Kyoya turned to look at her, she spotted the small smile and the glint in his eye that spoke volumes otherwise.

"Kyoya..." Tamaki's semi-conscious groan alerted them and all six Club members crowded around the queen size bed in the middle of the cabin (though five-star sweet would describe the place even better) where the Host Club king lay.

"Tamaki," Kyoya leaned in closer to his friend, studying his features though his thin rimmed spectacles, "You're safe now."

"Haruhi..." Tamaki didn't seem to be awake, but all held onto his every word, "...Haruhi bathing suit...sunset...pretty...mmmm..." he mumbled out, gave a small hitched breath and seemed to slip off into the blissful realm of unconsciousness again.

"Well, that certainly was educating," Kyoya adjusted his glasses. The lights above head reflected in the lenses giving them an almost surreal glow, "What _did _you three do there down in the caves all this while?"

Both cleared their throats at the same time and shared a look with each other.

"Hikaru?"

"Nothing...we just helped Tono with his foot and waited for you to find us," Hikaru explained, not lying but not necessarily telling the whole truth either. He'd never kept a secret from his brother, and had not intention to start now. But this was just something he though to just share with Haruhi.

"He's right. Absolutely nothing," Haruhi smiled, her fingers crossed behind her back unknown to the rest of the club members. It was a good thing that Tamaki was out of it at the time, at least he would be spared the embarrassment, and she knew that she could trust Hikaru to keep this a secret. After all, it would have been just as embarrassing for Tamaki as it is for him.

However, the serious look on Kyoya's face and the ominous glare of the reflection in his glasses signaled that he did suspect something.

And that was the end of the exciting adventures of Tamaki and Host Club. None of the members were ever the wiser as to what actually took place that day (with the exception of Kyoya, but Kyoya knew everything) and Tamaki, Haruhi and Hikaru went on to live happily ever after (for the rest of the week). But before that could transpire, Morinozuka Takashi, in a moment of great insight and many words, had this to say:

"Why does it smell like urine in here?"

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Owari

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Oho-ho-ho. You don't know how tempted I was to go all Tamaki/Kyoya in this story. I had actually started out this story with the intention of it being a gen/fluff/friendship story. And while writing it, Tamaki/Haruhi kept popping up time and time again and I managed to resist the urge (I've been reading/writing shounen-ai stories for so long that the prospect of a het relationship one seems just…wrong) but during it all, Hikaru/Haruhi kept pestering me to include them but I managed to squash that urge and somewhere near the end, Kyoya/Tamaki started to rear it shounen-ai loving head but I managed (by a hair width) to resist the urge. In the end, it did end up the gen/fluff/friendship story that I had started out writing and I can say that I'm quite pleased with the outcome.


End file.
